Super Smash bros Host Club
by Random asian guy
Summary: When you enter the third music room in the southern wing of the northern building, you will find six gorgeous male hosts. What happens when Zelda stumbles into this room? Based on Ouran highschool Host Club.


**AN: I do not own Nintendo or any of the characters. I also do not own Ouran highschool host club**

Huff, huff. 'I need to be quick,' I say to myself, as I run as fast as I could to my new school. I could see the tall, fancy building not far from where I am. _Finally._

_Super Smash Brawl private high school, is defined with emphasis on one: family linage, and two: wealth. One of the few elite schools in Nintendo that is for the sons and daughters of the wealthy_

I enter the campus. The entrance to the school is just like an entrance you would see as you enter a mansion. Smooth concrete, luscious green grass, tall healthy trees, and of course the fancy white building that practically laughs, _ha ha I have money and you don't._

I clutch my side bag very tightly as I run to the big door that would lead me inside the big white building. But I do not notice the big black limousine behind me. It honks twice and I jump out of the way just in time. _Thank goodness I didn't get run over _I sigh in relief. I stop running and walk towards the door simply because I don't have the energy to run anymore. Suddenly, I spot the same, sleek black limousine that had almost killed me parked at the front of the door. A man dressed in a matching black suit stepped out of the limo and opened one of the doors located at the back of the limousine. Then, a girl about my age steps out of the limo wearing the expensive girls' school uniform: a light pink dress that reached up to her mid-thigh, a ribbon tied into a bow around the dress' collar and black stockings. They could wear whatever shoes they wanted. Unfortunately, I couldn't afford the girl's uniform so I borrowed one of my father's outfits: A grey sweater vest with a white blouse, black shoes and one of those business type pants. But I also wear glasses and have short hair that reaches up to my chin. So I sort of look like a guy. But I'm okay with it.

Once I entered the school I look around at my surroundings. Man, this school is rich. They have chandeliers, fancy wooden desks, marble walls and much more things that would put my previous school to shame. The girls walk around giggling and gossiping while the guys are just keeping to themselves or talking with their friends.

_Dear Mother in heaven, did choose the wrong school?_

~~~~~~SuSm~~~~~~~

When school had ended, I placed all the books I needed into my bag and headed straight to the library. Wow, this place is HUGE. Carved oak walls, millions of neatly arranged books, masterpiece paintings on the ceiling, huge desks and fancy furniture! This place isn't a school, it's a hotel! Although, it is quite noisy in here. I walk over to one of the empty tables and sit down. I open one of my books to study. After about five minutes, I notice a butler coming in while pushing a trolley full of refreshments. He heads to a nearby desk occupied by a group of girls. 'Miss, your strawberry cake,' the butler says as he places a plate of a delicious looking plate of strawberry cake on the table. 'Thank you, it looks delicious,' she says. _Looks like I'm not the only one _I think to myself. How can I study in this? My stomach suddenly rumbles. Thankfully, it was quiet enough so that I was the only one that was able to hear it.

_The school students are living in a high class of idlers. After school, I can't even find one place to study quietly._

So I stand up, pack up all my books, grab my bag and exit the noisy library. I search the school and try to find a quiet enough place. Sadly, I haven't found any so far. I enter the southern wing of the northern building. It looks just like the other hallways in this school, marble walls, chandeliers, and stairs covered by royal red carpet. I walk down one of the staircases and pass a very odd figure covered in a sinister black hooded cape. I looked like he was floating up the stairs instead of walking.

'Beeeeee caaareeffuulll,' the figure said in a ghostly voice. I look at him oddly before resuming walking down the stairs. 'Iiiiiiif yoooouuu coooonntiiiiinuuue tooo waaalllk foooorwaaarrd yooouuur faaaaate maaaaayyy chhaaaannge,' he spoke again in the same echoing voice. I turn back around to look at him and find that the hunched over figure is holding a pink, cat looking puppet in his left hand. He then looks evilly at me and then continues to walk up the stairs, laughing ominously. Luckily, I'm not afraid of many things, so I remain unfazed by his comments.

_Mother, I'm secretly determined…_

_To not be too involved with the people here…_

_And to study hard for the next three years._

As I pass a statue of a dog's head, I spot an important looking room. I read the sign by the door. It says _Third music room._

_How much music rooms are there?_ I think to myself. 'Perhaps in here,' I say as I reach for the golden doorhandle and open the door slowly. As the door fully opened, I took the sight of the room in. The room still had marble walls and floors, chandeliers, red carpets, expensive windows and blinds; but there stood a grand piano, a marble fireplace, a golden harp, magnificent statues and a- vase? I walk over to the vase and examine it. 'It looks so expensive,' I say in awe. And it did, with intricate golden patterns, sharp blue colours and a little painting in the centre of the vase.

I was too busy admiring the vase that I failed to notice that others were in this room too. 'Welcome… to the Super Smash host club,' a strong, yet princely male voice called out.' I turn around to see six guys around a red couch, dressed in the boy's school uniform: a navy blue blazer, a white school blouse, a light blue and dark blue coloured tie, matching pants, and shiny black shoes. On the couch sat the guy who had spoken and a cute child-like boy cuddling a stuffed bunny rabbit. Around them stood twins who looked exactly alike, except their hair was parted different ways, a guy with glasses and a tall, serious looking guy facing the side.

'Host club?' I ask in confusion.

'The host club,' the guy who had spoken last time explained while standing dramatically, 'Formed by us six beauties, who were bored to tears, thus forming a club to entertain lovely ladies who are also bored. This is the purpose of the Host Club!' I noticed that while he was making his little speech, he was making very dramatic gestures that he ended up holding his hand out to me, while the others stood in the background.

'Hey, isn't he one of our classmates?' asked one of the twins while they sauntered towards me. Wait, what HE? Not again…

'What how boring!' laughed the other one while leaning on his brother. They both looked SO alike. They had very shiny blue hair with a fringe, but they were parted different ways. A golden hairband also sat atop their heads.

'Watch your mouth, Marth, Rondel,' scolded the dramatic guy. Yep, he is now 'the dramatic guy.' 'Even if it's a guy, he's still an important guest,' he reminded them.

'Don't be angry, honour student, Naryu Zelda (AN: they say their surnames first),' he says to me. _How does he know my name? _I think, suspicious.

'We know about you. You're the honour student aren't you?' asked the guy with glasses while checking his clipboard constantly. 'The one that got the scholarship? Only bold people like you can do it.'

'Bold?' I ask, once again in confusion.

'Correct,' answered the dramatic guy. He then stared off into the sky and held his hand out again. 'You are like a warrior.'

He switched hands and spoke again, sadder, 'Even if you are top of the class, you are still the poorest student in this school, who will possibly still be ignored, just like the pitiful commoners. No, he surely will be ignored.'

What? Pitiful commoner? I try to defend myself, 'No, you don't have to go as far as to say that…' But he cut me off and looked at me in the eye while speaking to me this time, 'No, that's just fine, long live the poor!' Should I be offended by this? He then pulled me to him and he said while smirking, 'But, we never knew that you actually liked guys.'

'Guys?' I asked, more confused than ever.

But he seemed to ignore my confusion and just kept talking, 'What type do you prefer?'

He turned me so that I faced the guy with glasses, 'The cool type?' he suggested.

Then to the twins, 'The secret twin love type?'

'The lovely type?' he turned me to the little boy cuddling the pink stuffed rabbit.

To the serious and tall guy, 'The rough and wild type?'

But when I was about to pry him off of me, he grabbed my chin, 'Or am I…' he said in that soothing voice of his, 'the prince type, more to your liking?' He looked at me in the eyes. Wow, his eyes are such a mesmerising blue, and it matched his golden hair and… WAIT! Why am I saying this?

'Wait!' I say as I slowly back away from them, 'I just wanted to find a quiet place to study.' I walked backwards a little more and more… until I feel an object against my back. In shock, I spin around very quickly to see what had just came in contact with my back. Uh oh. It was the vase. The table in which the vase stood wobbled and then fell over, taking the vase with it. I quickly try to save it, but the vase ultimately shattered into pieces.

'Ooohhh, this is bad,' one of the twins taunted behind me. 'What are you going to do?' asked the other twin mischievously. 'I'll pay!' I reply while taking out my wallet with all my money. 'Can you even afford it?' asked the same twin sarcastically. 'Currently, this vase is valued at eighty thousand dollars.' My eyes widened and my mouth popped open once he had said this. 'Eighty thousand dollars?' I ask in disbelief.

'What should we do, Link?' asked the guy with glasses to the dramatic guy. So that's his name. 'Link' clicked his fingers on his left hand and then walked towards the fireplace, the others following him. Link sat down on the couch while putting his right leg over his left leg and propping his head on top of his left hand. 'Naryu, have you ever heard of the proverb, "When in Rome, do as the Romans do." "If you don't have money, then use your body to pay it off." From now on, you are the host club's slave,' Link says while pointing at me dramatically. My eyes widen in surprise at this. _Slave? _

_This is too much mother. I'm caught in a bind by an odd, devilish group of host boys._

This is too much. At this point I faint. In the third music room located in the southern wing of the northern building.

~~~~~~SuSm~~~~~~~

'Why am I so unlucky?' I ask myself as I carry a heavy grocery bag full of who knows what. _Why do the hosts need groceries anyway? _I wonder. I try to balance the grocery bag as I slowly open the door to the music room.

_When you open the door, there is a gorgeous scene of the male Host Club. _

At the centre of the room sat Link surrounded by four girls. Although, the girl who sat closest to Link looked sort of possessive of him.

'That's really great,' says one of the girls surrounding Link. 'If it was you, Link, where would you take me for the summer?' asked another. 'If it was you, anywhere would be great,' replied Link charmingly. 'Link, what kind of music do you like?' asked a girl with shoulder length hair. 'Anything that you like, I like,' replied Link with a wink. 'Today, I baked a cake, do you want to try some?' asked the girl holing a wrapped object that I guessed was the said cake. 'Only if you are willing to feed it to me,' replied Link smoothly.

'So cool,' all the girls cooed in unison. 'How so?' I ask myself.

'He is the President, Loyahl Link, our number one host,' says a voice beside me. I turn to face where the voice was coming from and see that guy with glasses who always holds a clipboard for some reason… 'Number one?' I ask.

_== Second year high school student, Loyahl Link ==  
>(Host King)<em>

The guy with glasses seemed to have ignored my question as he kept talking, 'By the way, sitting beside him is Ilia Axort, Link's regular customer.'

'Princess…' Link says softly to Ilia. 'How are you today?'

'Good,' replies Ilia.

I avert my eyes from them, feeling weird just watching. Then, I hear a girl say loudly, 'Really, Marth?' I then focus my attention on the blue haired twins who are sitting at one of the oak tables with two other girls.

'Even though Rondel is like a daredevil…' says Marth.

'Marth,' interrupted Rondel looking embarrassed and worried. But Marth ignored Rondel and kept telling his story, 'A while ago, he started to panic and came crying to me.'

'Marth!' yells Rondel. 'You're mean… in front of everyone…' he then says sadly, looking away. The girls look at the scene in awe and clasp their hands. 'I'm sorry Rondel,' says Marth. 'Because at that time, you were really too cute...' Marth and Rondel both stand up and Marth grabs his twin's chin and pulls his face close to his own. 'Marth!' yells Rondel dramatically. They then share a brotherly hug and the girls watching squeal in unison, 'This is so moving!' One of them had tears in her eyes.

'What are they crying for?' I ask in confusion.

'The fact is,' says the guy with glasses matter-of-factly, 'most women like beautiful man-forbidden love type. The twins', Marth and Rondel, selling point is their forbidden love.'

_== First year high school students ==  
>== Zhetik Marth and Rondel==<em>

'I really don't understand at all,' I say disbelievingly. Twins liking each other?

'Then the others sitting there,' continues the guy with glasses, 'are Pit and Ike.' I turn my attention to the two guys sitting on the red couch surrounded by girls. So the cute little boy hugging the stuffed rabbit is Pit, and the stoic one is Ike.

_== Third year high school student ==  
>== Shaeld Pit ==<em>

Pit grabs a fork and takes a bite out of the cake sitting on the table. 'So yummy!' Pit says happily. The girls squeal at this, 'So cute!'

'Cute? But that person is a third year student, isn't he?' I ask the guy with glasses. Then, Pit spots me and jumps off the couch. 'Zelda!' he yells and jumps VERY high in the air. He somehow becomes smaller and he latches onto me. My eyes widen as he says, 'Let's eat cake together.' I say nothing in reply as I am still shocked and surprised at what I have seen. Ike walks over to us and grabs pit by the back of his collar. Somehow, Pit returns to his regular size as Ike dangles him up in the air. 'Let's go back,' says Ike in his deep intimidating voice. Ike lets go of Pit and he lands on his feet. Once Pit was on the ground, he ran happily to the group of girls. My mouth gapes open in shock and I adjust my round glasses. 'What happened just then? How did he become so small?' I ask.

The guy with glasses laughs at what I have just said, 'What are you talking about? You're seeing things right?' he asked once he had stopped laughing.

'But just now…' I protest, but he cut me off, 'After that beside him is Kalvar Ike.'

_== Third year high school student ==  
>== Kalvar Ike ==<em>

'He's not saying anything at all,' I say while observing him. He looked fairly quiet as the girls practically forced him to eat a cake. 'His silence is his selling point,' explained the guy with glasses. 'I don't understand,' I say. 'They play up their own characteristics to meet the needs of customers,' he explains once again. 'It's our club policy.' I turn away from him to walk out the door while he checked something on his calculator. 'You are the temporary staff that will do the odd jobs,' he calls out. I keep walking towards the door. 'Oh, you're free to run away,' he says in a voice that says _I know something you don't. _I sigh in frustration as my hand slips away from the golden doorhandle. 'But I'm the one who has all of your "awesome" moments.' _What does he mean by that? _I ask myself as I turn back around to look at him. The guy with the glasses is holding up his iPad, scrolling through pictures of me, and they were all so embarrassing. Oh no, he had one of me eating a meatball when it had dropped on the floor, and me tripping over holding a pile of books! He had others, but they were all equally embarrassing. I run up to him, staring at the screen. He keeps the iPad away from me and says, 'Do not underestimate out intelligence network. If you would like to graduate smoothly, you better not think about escaping from here. I am the Vice President here, Sheldsen Sheik.'

_== Second year high school student ==  
>== Sheldsen Sheik (vice president) ==<em>

He smiles a little after saying that. 'It's the devil's dark smile,' I whisper to myself. Shiek walks away to his own group of girls and I am left alone. I turn around to walk out the door only to be blocked by Link.

'If you act like that, you'll never be welcomed by the girls,' he says while having that smirk planted on his face. 'The Host club mottos are: Number one… Strong, noble and elegant. Numbertwo-,' But before he could finish his speech, I interject, 'I don't really care. Things like being a girl or a boy or looks… Do those things really matter? What's inside is the thing that matters most.' Link smiles approvingly while saying, 'You have a point.' Then, he walks away from me and does one of his famous dramatic actions, 'I would completely understand if you are trying to make yourself feel better, but for us, who are born pretty, life isn't easy.' He then clicks his fingers and one of the girls hand him a mirror. Link continues to talk while admiring his own reflection in the mirror, 'In order to satisfy the need to be pretty, we must strive to be prettier.' He hands the mirror back to the girls and walks to the other side of the room where he continues to lecture me, 'For example, you must pay attention to which angle you look best at.' He turns his head to the left, 'My face viewed to the right side at an angle of 38.5 degrees is the most perfect.' But then to the right, 'However, looking from the left side, 42 degrees is perfect.' He continues to ramble on and I start to ignore what he's saying.

_What is the term used to describe these kind of people? _I wonder. _Troublesome… No, there should be more appropriate word… _Then the word popped into my head, 'Annoying,' I say aloud.

Link immediately stops his speech and looks at me in shock. Then, he was crashed into the wall with an object that said, 'Annoying.' This confused me, 'You hit the wall?' I ask. 'Amazing,' spoke a person behind me. I turn around and spot Marth and Rondel. 'You really are extraordinary!' Sheik and Pit then walks up to us, 'This is the new offensive attack! Very effective,' praises Sheik. 'Zelda is incredible!' says Pit in his childlike voice. Ike stays silent and only holds out his hand. I shake his hand and bow. He lets go of my hand. 'I only said my true feelings,' I reason. Then a container of coffee rolled towards us. 'What is this?' asks Marth while looking at the coffee like it was some foreign object. 'You asked me to buy coffee, this is instant coffee,' I explain. 'What is instant coffee?' Marth asks. Then I hear a big crack behind me and see that Link is no longer pinned to the wall and the strange object is smashed on the floor. Link suddenly sprints towards us and grabs the container of coffee. 'Could it be the kind that just needs hot water? Commoners coffee!' he says while cradling the coffee. 'This is the legendary commoner's coffee!' Sheik says in awe while snatching the coffee out of Link's hands. 'One hundred grams for three dollars and fifty cents. A really shocking price!' exclaims Rondel. Marth snatches the coffee off of Rondel and examines it, 'Looks like the rumour that commoners don't even have time to grind their own coffee is true.' Rondel then shows the coffee to Ike and Pit to admire. Then I snatch the coffee off of them, feeling slightly offended. 'I'm very sorry for mot buying you expensive coffee beans,' I say. 'I'll go back and buy it.' Then I walk towards the door and was about to exit the music room. 'Wait!' yells Link. He runs up to me and grabs the coffee, looking at it in awe once again. 'I'll drink it. I want to drink it,' Link says heroically while holding up the coffee. 'Really incredible!' screams a girl behind the rest of the Host Club. The rest of the girls cheer and the Host Club looks at Link admirably and claps their hands. 'The rich young master,' I say to myself. 'Since you came here, it has become a mess,' says a female voice behind me. 'What?' I ask while turning around. She has her back to me. 'Sorry, I'm talking to myself,' she apologizes. But she's not really apologizing; I can hear the fake in her sentence. She turns around to face me. It's that girl, Link's regular customer. _What was her name? _I wonder. _Oh, yes, _I remember _Ilia. _'Next time, I also want to try commoner's coffee,' she says sarcastically. I don't reply only because I need to be polite. 'Zelda!' Link calls out. I turn to face him and find the girls and the Host Club surrounding the fancy coffee table. 'Come on and show us how to make the commoner's coffee,' he says.

~~~~~~SuSm~~~~~~~

'Pour hot water in the cup and stir to mix it well,' I instruct as I prepare the coffee. The Host Club and their customers are watching me eagerly. 'After a moment, it's ready,' I say as I place the cup of coffee on the table. The Host Club look at the coffee in awe and clap their hands. The girls do too. The members of the Host Club are all wearing dark blue aprons while I wear my old striped one. 'Everybody, let's try the commoner's coffee,' says Link. 'Let's go.' They pick up the trays of coffee and hand it to the group of girls. They back away with fearful expressions on their faces. 'I wouldn't dare drink it,' one of them said. 'The girls are embarrassed,' I inform the Host Club. Link sighs and puts his arm around one of the girls, 'What if I serve you the drink?' asks Link smoothly. 'Then I'll drink it,' the girl replies. Some of the other girls then became willing to drink it. 'I want to go home,' I say to myself.

~~~~~~SuSm~~~~~~~

'See you again, we will come tomorrow,' chorused the girls. 'Bye bye,' replied the Host Club. I pick up all of the empty coffee cups and put them back on the tray. 'But I only want to find a quiet place to study,' I say in disappointment.

Link walks over to me with his hands in his pockets, 'What's wrong, isn't it inconvenient to study at home?' he asks curiously. 'My dad is sleeping at home during the day,' I reply while wiping down the table. 'He works every night. It's not easy to support me alone. I do not want to give him any trouble.'

'Then your mother?' Link asks slowly. His voice sounds sad, although I cannot see his expression.

'My mother got sick and died ten years ago,' I explain. I turn to look at him and find Link looking away, sobbing silently. 'What' wrong?' I ask him. He continues to sob and cries, 'How come your life experience is so pitiful?' He pulls out a giant purple handkerchief from his pocket. 'Also carrying the eighty thousand of debt,' he cries while blowing his nose in the handkerchief. Link then stops crying and looks at a faraway object, 'Yes, I have a good idea!' he says. 'Allows you to experience rich ways while paying off the debts. The use of sacred profession to make money.'

'What kind of job?' I ask. Link clamps his hands on my shoulders and looks at me deeply, 'The male host,' he replies.

'A host?' I ask fearfully. 'I will give you a full range of guidance. Yes, I think if you can get one hundred customers…' Link says while releasing my shoulders and walking to the rest of the Host Club who are watching. 'If you can get one hundred customers to request you, your debt will be eliminated.'

_I don't want to! _I scream inside my head.

~~~~~~SuSm~~~~~~~

I sit down on one of the chairs surrounding the coffee table and place the glass cup on the table.

'WRONG!' Link scolds while smacking me three times over the head with a broomstick. Link picks up the cup and puts down the blasted broomstick, 'Observe,' he says while placing the cup down very softly. 'When you put the cup down, extend your little finger as a buffer. Good men do not send out the vulgar sound. Listen up Zelda, three regulations of the Host Club. Second, exploration never meets a good man's shortcut. Repeat after me.' But before I could do what he said, the twins interrupted. 'Zelda, this guy's problem isn't a skill so much as it looks,' says Rondel. 'Correct, pair appearance simply cannot be seen in people,' Marth backs his brother up.

'It's true actually,' says Link. He stands up and asks me, 'Say, how old will you look behind those glasses?' He then grabs them and takes them off. Link and the twins look at me in shock. Ike, Pit and Sheik come over and see me too. Their eyes widen. 'All of you know what to do right?' asks Link. The twins nod while smiling mischievously. Link snaps his fingers, 'Marth, Rondel.'

Then, the said twins quickly pulled out a salon chair and a makeup kit. Marth comes over and places a bib around my neck. My eyes widen when I see both of them holding a pair of salon scissors.

'Sheik, contact your tailor,' instructs Link dramatically while Sheik pulls out his cell phone and starts dialling. 'Emergency set uniform,' Sheik says while on the phone.

'Pit, Ike, prepare the contact lenses,' Link orders the pair.

'HUH?' I whisper.

~~~~~~SuSm~~~~~~~

'Guys,' I call out from the mini dressing room the Host Club has set up in the music room. 'Are you finished changing?' asks Link. I open the curtains and reveal myself wearing the boy's uniform, and without the glasses. The twins, Ike, Pit and Sheik all 'wow!' at me while Link stays silent and gapes at me. 'Zelda, you are really cute,' says Pit in awe. 'If you were really this cute, you should have told us earlier,' says Sheik flatly. 'Looks like there is no problem to gather customers.'

'Cute…' mumbles a dazed Link. Everyone turns at what he had just said. Link snaps out of his daze. 'I mean, everything is like I predicted before,' Link says quickly.

'Starting from tomorrow, you're a host!' proclaims Link.

~~~~~~SuSm~~~~~~~

**AN: I know this chapter doesn't have much Zelink, but the next chapters would! I promise! So, anyway, please review and feel free to leave any constructive criticism. And my other fic, 'My Hero' would be updated very soon.**


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